Dating in the UK has changed a lot over the last few years. Not too many years ago, it was a custom to have a ‘chaperone’ with you on a date to make sure you behaved properly!

But now the rules of the dating game are completely different. There are all sorts of ways of meeting a partner. And in the internet age we live in, many of us are trying to do it online.

 
Dating Locations

But still, the most popular way to find somebody to love is to go out to pubs, bars and nightclubs. This is probably because most of us find the task much easier after a few drinks!

To do it this way, you just need to find the type of place you are looking for, thinking about the kind of person you would like to meet. There are lots of different types of bars and clubs across the UK. So, do some research before you go out! If you are into music, then look out for the live music venues near you. Or if you want to end the night dancing with someone, your best chance is to find a nightclub.

Try asking people at home, work, or university where the best places are to go. In addition there are online guides for ‘where to go’ for almost every area in the country. So if you’re in Manchester, simply type ‘what’s on in Manchester’ into Google and you’ll get all the information you need.

Dating in the UK

If you know anything about the British, you will know our reputation for being quite reserved and polite (apart from the football fans) all of which means it is often the case that won’t find many people actually ‘making a move’ on someone of the opposite sex. It is more likely that you will find bars full of boys who want to meet girls and girls who want to meet boys, but neither is talking to the other... Most people are worried about what to say to someone they don’t know. This explains the phenomena in the UK of the ‘chat-up line’. This is usually a one-line introduction that will hopefully make the other person laugh – and then the rest is easy! At least that is the theory...

There are hundreds of chat-up lines which people use all the time, but it’s probably best to try to make-up your own. Here are some to help you get the idea:

“When they made the alphabet they should have put U and I together.”

“How was heaven when you left?”

"You look like my first wife."
"Really? How many times have you been married?"
"Never."

“Is it hot in here or is it you?”

“Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you want to go upstairs and talk?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?”

However, many people aren’t confident enough to try this approach. And even if they are, many are disappointed with the results. The problem is, it is easy to find someone you find physically attractive in a pub. But it is much harder to find someone who you are interested in, and who will make a good long-term boyfriend or girlfriend. This is why the online dating industry is growing fast.

Looking for Love

In the past people could advertise in the ‘classifieds’ sections of newspapers if they were looking to meet someone special. But this was very much something you would only do if you are desperate! However, online dating is really acceptable in the UK and doesn’t have any negative implications in the same way that the classified adverts used to have...

You can now search listings on dating websites for someone who matches a list of things you want – just like if you were looking for a new car! People have their own page describing themselves with a photo, and a description of what they are looking for in a partner. All you have to do is send them a message to get things going.

There are some very large dating sites – be aware that they do ask for a registration fee. This does mean there is a certain level of security and there is a large choice of possible lovers!

Dating Etiquette

There is an etiquette to dating in the UK which means there are certain signals that are universal (like body language) and some that are more specific to the culture in the UK. Unfortunately there are no hard and fast rules to the signals and reading these signals and interpreting them in the right way is often the topic of conversations amongst friends in coffee shops. One thing to try and get right is the activity on your first date and who pays... Some people say that a coffee or a drink is a good idea so that you are not committed to spending a lot of time with someone on a first date, as you would if you had dinner together, for example. If you both pay your half for the date, this is known as “going Dutch” and it is quite common in the UK, particularly amongst independent young women. As you can see, it is most common for first dates to be conducted in a public place rather than by inviting someone to your home.

If you’re looking for love in the UK, be it online or on the dance floor, we wish you luck – be safe and be happy!

For services relating to this topic, see our "Find a..." section.
 
By Matt Taylor

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USEFUL WORDS

meet a partner
online dating
to be interested in someone
fancy someone = to be attracted to someone
chat someone up = to talk in a friendly way to someone you are attracted to
a chat-up line = a one-line introduction that will hopefully make the other person laugh
make a move on someone = try to start a relationship with someone
go on a date = a meeting with a boy/girlfriend or someone who might become your boy/girlfriend
ask / take someone out (on a date)
go Dutch with someone = to share the cost of the date with the other person

ENGLISH GRAMMAR

Request, Offers, Invitations and Suggestions

Can I ask for your phone number?
Sure / Of course
Sorry, I don’t have my phone with me and I can’t remember my own number!

Would you like a drink?
Yes, please.  Thank you
No thanks, I’m OK

Would you like to go out for dinner on Saturday evening?
Yes, I’d love to.  Thank you very much
I’m sorry.  I’d like to, but I’m going to be away this weekend

Shall we go for a drink?
Good idea.  Yes, why not?
I’ve just had one, but you go ahead

How about meeting up at the weekend?
That would be nice
I’m sorry, I’m not free this weekend

What about going to see the new James Bond film tonight?
Great – what time do you suggest?
I’m afraid I’ve already seen it

Do you fancy a bite to eat?
That would be lovely – I’m starving!
Perhaps a little later, I’ve just eaten