The British can sometimes appear a bit obsessive when it comes to their strict manners and rules of etiquette.

The UK is a place where you can never say ‘thank you’ too many times and where the word ‘sorry’ is used, in an average persons lifetime, more often than any other word in the dictionary.

Perhaps the funniest demonstration of this can be found by watching people in a busy pubs trying to squeeze their way past hundreds of other drinkers, saying either ‘sorry’ or ‘excuse me’ every 2 seconds until they begin to sound like a machine that’s just malfunctioned.

If you bump into a Brit whilst in the UK they will say ‘sorry’ to you, but don’t get confused, they are not admitting culpability and you should offer a ‘sorry’ too. The word ‘sorry’ is like a warm blanket of superficial comfort; as long as we all keep apologising to each other society will keep functioning. ‘Sorry’: it is the glue that binds us.

Another area of great importance to the British is the queue. A word of advice to all people coming to Britain: Do not violate the sacred rules of the queue.

To many Brits a queue is quite simply what defines a civilization, and anybody who attempts to push their way to the front of the queue is made to feel about as welcome as a fox in a chicken coop. In fact there is probably no faster way to bring a Brit to the brink of apoplectic rage than by queue jumping.

Quite simply the Brits are a very polite bunch of people on the whole. Apologizing for brushing past another person and respecting the rules of the queue allow us all to function on this relatively small island of 60 million inhabitants.

Despite this there is serious concern that in recent years standards have begun to fall. A 2008 survey for an ITV current affairs programme showed that 90% of Brits felt that manners had gotten worse over the last 10 years.

Many people blame a generation of lazy parents for this decline in manners and worry that the lack of basic courtesy shown by young people in modern Britain could lead to society collapsing completely.

However, it is worth pointing out that this was a view shared by a famous British monk, the Venerable Bede, who lamented the decline in manners as far back as the 8th century, and fortunately society appears to have survived since then, so maybe it is a common misconception amongst people that the generations below them have lower standards than their own. This is a debate that will run and run.

Some other small matters to be aware of include remembering that kissing is much more personal in the UK than in many other parts of the world. When you are introduced to someone in Britain it is polite to say ‘hello’ and to offer to shake their hand, but attempting to plant a kiss on their cheeks will be met with flushed faces and plenty of embarrassment.

Although it is now quite common for male and female friends, who know each other well, to kiss each other on one cheek when they meet, anyone who tries to kiss a stranger is guaranteed to experience that other British trait: the slightly awkward embarrassed silence. In truth any contact with the lips is still considered to be quite sexual.

Apart from all this just remember not to talk with your mouth full, don’t burp in public ever and don’t spit – all of which would make you a complete social outcast – and you will soon find yourself as an accepted member of the local community, happily shaking hands and apologizing for your existence just like the rest of us.

John Hillman